I'm lost.




I don't know how to be found.




I don't know my way out.





Why the hell am I like this?

Sadness

I feel bad for feeling this way but I do.

I think everyone who reads this knows but if you don't I'm up at MIT doing a summer program.

So everyone here is overly nice and I like hated being home so much. But honestly, I've always loved my house and my room so much. But even more than that I loved my friends. This is actually much much harder than I thought it'd be. Yes everyone is nice and fun but like I really just need a good hug from one of my friends back home or just to see a few people even if it was just for a very short time.

I feel selfish because there are so many people who would love being here with their whole hearts and though I love it and am having tons of fun I am still missing people back home and the sadness is taking over me.

Strange Feelings

I knew it'd be sad to walk away. So say, "see you later." and know that was the last time it'd be said in a very long time and that later was far off.

It's really sad when you say goodbye to things that have been so normal to you for so long. To places that you've loved but you know you will rarely get the chance to see again. I've never done anything like this. I've left a lot before but I always knew that I and the people I was leaving were not going to make any major changes in the time I was gone and I knew when I was coming back.

But this time, I could come back as someone totally new. Everyone I'm leaving could also become someone new. Though I want people to stay the same I understand that they need to change and I also want people to grow and become who they are truly meant to be.

I feel as if I'm dying and like I'll be reborn on Saturday.

This is sad.

This is strange.

I don't like it.

It's over.

8 years and it all comes down to one little piece of paper.

I'm home and all the out of town people are going back home.

To the class of 2008:
It's been great to know all of you and I hope that I will get the chance to continue to know many of you. Peace, love, and all the best!

The work for senior year is finally officially forever over. We got report cards yesterday...

Who knows how but I got straight A's.

It's over. It's done.

8 years. Countless memories.

<3

I discovered a little more of me.

1. I need you (plural). Without you I do stupid things. I finally know I can be all that you see in me. I just have to keep you with me at all times.

2. You are a gift from God (plural).

3. No matter how hard you try, you cannot always change people.

4. You don't always have to slap a bitch.

5. Sometimes you have to give people what they want...even if you'd really prefer not to.

I guess that's all. I wonder if looking back on this in a year or more I'll remember what events made me learn these things.

I hope so and yet I also hope I don't. It's doesn't matter how the lesson was learned. So long as it was learned and is remembered.

Two Good Days

Hey,

I haven't been here in a while. But whatever.

So yeah,

yesterday was a good day. (school part doesn't count. senior projects are going to be the death of the next person who asks me their grade.)

but any way,

So, I hung out at Randy's till he had to work. Of course he terrorized me with a straight pin. That wasn't nice. Watched Cash Cab, such a good show :D.

Then I came home and washed my hair. That was nice. Used my new blow dyer and it actually had an impact on straightening out my hair which was like WOW.

Sleeping was nice too.

So today, yeah like I said before. School doesn't count. After school Quintin and I went to some shady copy center down the street from school to get my passport photos for interphse. btw link to blog is: click here if you want to read my blog while I'm away this summer. It was like those photos that you shake except these got pulled apart. But the guy clearly pulled it apart way too early since I ended up a much lighter shade of brown. But... w/e.

Then we were off to the Fairmount post office. And that was long. Cause I messed up then the lady told me the other envelope was cheaper so yeah idk.

Then we went to Quintin's and I finally saw the other cat. Then we walk to wawa. Then to the park. Yay swings! Yay amusing text messages! And then we walked around in Whole Foods and I brought one of those A Better Bag things.

That's all.

Bye.