My Deadly Sin.

Let's get this settled right now: I love my guy friends with all my heart. They are the most amazing people in the world and I would not trade them for anything.

Now to the issue:

If I had a deadly sin. It'd so be lust. I mean I'm not like lustful but that's the sin I'm closest too. So if you really know me, then you know that I don't get excited about big stuff I guess. Like if you dropped a million dollars in my lap I'd probably be like "Thanks." and move on (not really cause it's a million bucks but I think you get my drift). But like small little things in life can make me really happy and excited. Like the time when my brother came to visit but I didn't know he was coming, I couldn't even go get the door cause I started screaming and crying out of joy.

But yeah, I need more than a guy friend. Cause like, talking to and seeing my guy friends makes me happy and whatnot and doing nothing with them is better than doing something with a lot of other people I know. But, I'm missing something. As in a guy who is a little more than a friend. Someone who will... well I don't know how to explain it. But he'll make me happy in the same way my other guy friends do but also in a different way at the same time. I can't explain it. The best way I can think to describe it is how today I was going to have lunch with Jamal and Randy was like, "oh you're going to meet your boo." But like I wasn't going to see my boo. It was just Jamal. I want to be able to think, "Yeah, I am going to see my boo and that makes me really happy."

Basically, I need more than just another guy friend. It feels weird and I can't really explain it. But yeah.

(i'm a rambling idiot. this i know.)